To recognise outstanding achievement in matters concerning the Vote of No Confidence the committee (me) would like to make the following awards. In the category of
Best Speech the winner is:
KELLY NARU – the Governor of Morobe who displayed a profound understanding of the issues surrounding this vote and articulated them with a razor sharp analysis – especially in that which concerned the ‘Separation of Powers’.
The Yeah Yeah Yeah award also goes to Morobe and is won by: SAM BASIL– who displayed none of the above but whose words inspired the next award.
The Mispronunciation award, that goes to the word: OPPOSHISHUN closely rivalled by DESHISHUN
In the ‘Best Dressed’ category the award was unanimously voted as going to: BEN MICAH – Was his suit a political statement or does he just look good in yellow?
The Let’s Keep Them Guessing award goes to: PAIAS WINGTI – who kindly kept the whole nation entertained for seven days playing ‘Where’s Wingti’? He was in Port Moresby and voted with government. Who got it right?
In the category of Best Comeback the award goes to: JAMES MARAPE – whose quick and incisive replies floored a couple of prominent members of the Opposition including Kerenga Kua, the practiced litigator.
Best timing goes to: THEO ZURENUOC: – the Speaker of the House whose call for a vote was a relief to most (see the ‘Yeah, Yeah, Yeah’ category that proved to be a strongly contested award) and that prompted the following category of…
Best Tantrum and was won by: BELDEN NAMAH – who is poised to make this category his own with his foot-stamping, fist thumping rhetoric – “Give us a chance to debate – I will not sit down until I debate.” He must be still standing because in the next category…
Best Sense of Humour, …where the winner is, once again, Speaker of the House: THEO ZURENUOC – He presided over the proceedings with good humour, a ready smile and who wisely responded not with sanctions, but with amused laughter at the above recalcitrant.
But the Gold VONC goes to the Honourable PETER O’NEILL, Prime Minister of Papua New Guinea (then and now) for his decisive win of 85 to 21.
“PNG is emerging as a cult country for MP worshiping,”
writes anti-corruption (?) campaigner, Lucas Kiap, on a post seemingly addressing the front-page article that appeared in Monday’s Post Courier. (The one that had Governor Wingti declaring PNG to be on track with its development goals.)
Never to let an opportunity for negativism pass him by, Kiap decided to counter with his own bleak take on the state of the nation.
There was absolutely nothing new in the analysis – just the same old problems of which all are aware and that are the abiding challenges for any Papua New Guinean government.
Besides, if Kiap did have any salient points to make, they were completely lost in the atrociously bad, and grammatically challenged piece of writing that he chose to publish.
In as much detail as I can bear
It starts with the title, where Kiap calls PNG a “cult country” – ‘cult’ being the descriptor for the noun, ‘country’.
The problem is that ‘cult’ is a noun that will not substitute for an adjective – so is PNG a cult, a country, both, what…?
To make the sentence grammatically sound, Kiap needed to write that PNG was a ‘cult worshipping country’ – now doesn’t that sound better?
To begin his posting he says:
Whether you all have realized this or not but I have been slowly observing that PNG is slowly emerging as a country worshiping politicians for delivering of basic services, in the process promoting them as cult figures and not heroes.
There are many problems here – firstly there’s the sheer arrogance of this opening gambit.
Mr Kiap, you’ll be surprised to hear that most of us do not hang on your every word or deed and as such, no, we probably haven’t realized – and I’m not sure that we care.
Then there’s the superfluous use of the word ‘but’ making the sentence clunky, at best.
What’s more, using the word “slowly” twice in the same sentence shows a complete lack of vocabulary skills, imagination, or both. Besides, was the initial “slowly” really necessary? I mean, how do you observe slowly?
Kiap tells us that something or other promotes them as “…cult figure and not heroes,” while at the very start of the next paragraph he tells us the opposite. Are you confused now? Me too.
And I have no idea what a “dumpy God” is. I wonder whether he does – or indeed anyone, for that matter?
Their actions are like cult figures…,
he tells us.
Maybe he means: ‘Their actions are like those of cult figures.’ Or maybe that ‘they are acting like cult figures’ – but I’m just guessing – trying to make sense out of nonsense.
And while legislators can also be called law makers – they are not law markers [sic] – probably a typo!
Kiap, irritatingly, pluralizes collective nouns like ‘legislation’ and ‘junk’ by putting an ‘s’ on the end.
No, no, no! The plural of ‘legislation’ is ‘legislation’ and that of ‘junk’ is ‘junk’. (That’s why they call them ‘collective’ nouns.)
And so it goes on, embarrassingly, as he mixes up tenses, uses incorrect prepositions, talks about “ethanic fights” (probably another typo – or could it be auto-correct?) and makes mistakes of which Mrs Malaprop would be proud.
If you want to be a scribe Mr Kiap, learn your craft. Stop making a virtue out of mediocrity. (And, by the way, what the hell does point 31 mean?)
“I react very badly when mediocrity throws a tantrum of entitlement,” said Lee Siegel, author, writer and cultural critic. And so do I – and that’s what Kiap’s post reads like to me.